Senior Reflections

Graduating Seniors Remember Gonzaga

By: Andrew Carrell, Mike Sass, Jacob Spears

Posted: 10/1/09

It is extremely difficult for me to put into words what my "Gonzaga experience" has meant to me. Since graduating only a short few months ago I often find myself daydreaming about places on campus and the people who I met throughout my four years in Spokane. I would be lying to you if I told you that Gonzaga did not change who I am since the moment I first stepped on the grass outside of Desmet in August of 2005. The journey has not always been a joyous one either as I certainly had my fair share of downfalls and shortcomings as a student. But do you know what? I would not change a darn thing. It is because of those conflicts and times when I hit rock bottom that I gained perspective. Those times were priceless learning experiences that I will forever value.
My favorite ingredient about Gonzaga was not the 2 a.m. Taco Bells runs. It was not waiting countless hours in line to get into a basketball game only so I could take my shirt off and have my chest painted with a handful of my best friends. It wasn't even the summer I spent abroad in Europe during the summer of 2007. It was none of these wonderful memories. What made my GU experience were simply the people. That's it. It is the people who you see each day on campus. I am forever in debted to the friends I have made at Gonzaga. I will carry these people with me for the rest of my life. These people are the ones I hope to live on the same block with, the ones I can call any time of day to just talk, and the ones who will be standing next to me on my wedding day. I am not just talking about the people who are your neighbors in the dorms or in the Logan neighborhood (however, I am sure they are wonderful too). It is the faces that greeted me as I walked into University Ministry office in Crosby, the Jesuits who would stop me on my way to class and ask me how I was doing because they genuinely care, and it was the rest of the faculty and administration that I interacted with around campus. Tell me where you will find anywhere in the world another Sister Laura, Fr. Gary, or Susie Prusch and I am all ears. The list goes on and on and on. Ask any student and I am sure he or she will be able to rattle off a few names of those for whom he or she is grateful as well. I cannot even begin to tell you about friendships formed with other fellow Zags. The conversations, the foreign travels shared together, and the pitchers shared will rest fondly in my mind. The students who roam this place are those to whom I owe the most for my growth in my faith life at Gonzaga.
As for you seniors in the graduating class of 2010, congratulations. Enjoy the next year as much as you can. Do not count the days until graduation, for it will make that big day come even more quickly. Spend time with the people who have been there for you, those who have always had your back, because you will miss them the most after you walk across the stage. Go on a retreat, slow your life down, try not to commit yourself to too many things, sit in the peace and quiet of the student chapel, eat a meal at the COG and give Kay a hug, go for a walk around the river, eat at Pho Van, lose your voice at a basketball game, schedule some "you" time, and simply be fully present in each day as best as you can. Enjoy your Gonzaga journey, and remember that is it the people that you surround yourself with that will matter most in your journey of faith.
Andrew Carrell graduated in 2009.

When we first headed off for college, we all knew that it would be a life changing experience, a once in a lifetime opportunity to finally break out of our parents' houses and become ourselves. I can still remember being nervous about this at first as I prepared for my first time living out of my parents' house, not too much unlike my first night away living on my own getting ready to start working. As time goes on and you become more accustomed to this new collegiate world, things become easier and more enjoyable, but that is only the start. This easing of tension is more of a blessing than I initially realized, and it allowed for me to figure out who I really am.

College for me was a time when I was finally able to become myself, and I am sure many of you have begun to figure that same thing out. This is a time to grow, not necessarily to change drastically, but it is a time to become more fully you (whoever that is). That is what college is really all about. Yes, it is an important time to learn new concepts and get ready to go out and get a job, but it is really all about finding yourself and becoming the best version of yourself. This is not a process of eliminating weaknesses or adding more positive characteristics, though that may be a part of who you are. I have found that the best version of myself is the "me" that I am most comfortable being. It is the "me" that enjoys what I am doing and comes from embracing all of my personality and quirks.

It took me some time to figure out who I am (or even to begin to care about who I really am), and I definitely still don't have it all figured out, but Gonzaga helped me take major steps along that path.

My first step came when I attended the Freshmen Retreat in November 2005. I only went because a friend suggested it and it seemed like a great way to meet new people (something I was really looking to do). That weekend became one of the best of my four years, and the best of my freshman year, but that was only the start. I went on several other retreats throughout my next three years, and I found that these retreats were a genuinely good way for me to get away from the stresses of the classroom and the drama of life to relax and reflect. When I first came to Gonzaga, I was not really a religious person, and if you had told me that I would go on six retreats in my four years here I would have laughed at you. But now, looking back I am more thankful for those experiences and the things I learned about myself there than I ever would have believed. I made many of my closest friends on retreats, I figured out why I am the way that I am, and I learned to accept, and flourish as, who I am there as well. Though I know they are not for everyone, and I know that different retreats are better for different people because of who you are and what you are looking for in the experience, I challenge you to go out and try something new.

Whether it is a retreat or a club or even just taking a class that you might not have just because it sounds interesting, challenge yourselves, expand your horizons and you will not be disappointed by how you grow and the "you" that you find. I grew from pushing myself to try new experiences. I put aside my doubts and preconceptions and just allowed myself to be me, and it was liberating. While you are still at Gonzaga, and still have the chance to be yourself in a safe environment I suggest you go for it, and you will develop into the best version of yourself. Though you may have your perceptions about who you are, and what you want to do, I urge you to challenge that and step outside your shell for one weekend, or even just a day, try something new and you will not be disappointed by how you grow (even if you do not like the experience).

Michael Sass graduated in 2009 and is currently and Admissions Counselor at Gonzaga.

I look back on my senior year at Gonzaga, only a few months past, and it gives me pause. What was my "senior experience," if there is such a thing to be titled? And even more confusing, what was my senior "faith experience?" Senior year was a rush. Looking back, it appears as either a blank screen or a blurry mess, as if each scene races by so quickly that they crash into each other, or, like someone forgot to press record to begin with. How can I even begin to recognize where God and faith fit in to any of it when it all seems almost indiscernible? . . . almost.
Senior year becomes a little clearer as I try to compartmentalize things: things I remember, things I miss, and things I learned. I remember fall semester never ending, and when it finally did, it ended with a snow storm that kept us all on campus, just the place we all wanted to be over Christmas vacation. I miss Fiesta Fridays with my closest friends, Saint Patty's Day at Jack and Dan's, and snowball fights in blue jeans. I learned what it's like to be so overwhelmed with work that you swear you won't make it, but pray that you will, and for once a prayer is answered. I remember things, I miss things, and I learned things, and thankfully the memories of being a senior slow and separate, no longer blank and blurry.
What regrets do I have, what did I do right, what advice could I possibly give to someone starting his or her senior year? How can I, let alone anyone, answer these questions truthfully and completely? Of course I have regrets, I regret not making the most of every minute with my best friends, people I may realistically never see again, but were with me during one of the most significant parts of my life. I regret not realizing the power of learning until rather late in my college career, the inexorable feeling of intellectual light bulbs as they burn on for the first time. I regret not telling certain professors how they have changed the course of my life for the better, to such a point in fact, that I could never repay them. Regrets go on and on, and that isn't necessarily a bad thing. I learn from regrets. But I'd like to think I did at least one thing right. I surrounded myself with good people, holy people, people who knew and know Christ and recognize Him in others. This was both a choice in some cases, and in others a complete accident, or maybe I should say a blessing. So when I struggle to remember my senior experience in general, and my faith experiences in particular, I need think mostly of the souls that were with me as I raced through the memories, regrets, and lessons. Every experience is a faith experience when you surround yourself with people who know (or want to know) Christ the way that you do. Be it your best friend down stairs, the two girls across the hall, or the creepy kid with the lisp in English class, these are the people that will pervade and paint every corner and space of life with colors you cannot even imagine. So the one thing I did right is by default my only piece of advice for college seniors; surround yourselves with beautiful souls, who either show you Christ in themselves or need to be shown Christ through you. God bless, and hang on for dear life.
Jacob Spears graduated in 2009 and is a former Editor-in-Chief of the Witness.